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Humor

Humor yang bikin kamu senyum simpul, ketawa ngakak, sampai yang rada jayus ada di sini... Apa saja yang bisa bikin hari Sobat Gemintang yang jenuh menjadi lebih berGemintang.

Punjab Airways - Jokes
View : 166283
Created by : didit

Good morning, Ladies & Gentlemen.

This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to Punjab Airways.

We apologize for the four day delay in taking off, owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the bakery.

This is flight 126 to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East.

And if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!

Punjab Airways has an excellent record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

It is with pleasure I annouce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination.

For the ones that don't quite make it, Punjab Airways staff have all the requisite experience for consoling the next-of-kin.

Our Stewardess Bubbly will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off.

To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits.

For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God.

We regret to inform you that today's inflight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television.

But for our movie buff, we will be flying right next to Air India, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

This is a non smoking airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down.

Life jackets are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes are made available to the aunties and swimming shorts to the uncles, for emergency jumps.

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view.

If however we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark.

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take off and fasten your belt.

For those who can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat.

And for those who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a flight attendant for your suitcase.

Sorry, but I won't be flying with you today because I have to attend my nephew's wedding.

But please make yourself at home and help yourself to the cockpit. Thank you for choosing Punjab Airways.

Last for not least, have a nice journey :)

...Beri humor ini ke teman kamu !!!

Kategori lainnya

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There is a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: N...[View]

Nikah - Umum
Suzy menyampaikan hasrat hatinya kepada bapanya untuk menikah dengan Robert, jejaka pilihannya yang juga adalah tetangga dan teman sepermainannya sejak kecil

Suzy : Ayah, Robert melamar saya. Kami mau nikah.

Ayah : Apa? Tidak boleh! Kamu boleh menikah dengan siapa saja kecuali Robert.

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Junglish - Jungle English - Jokes
Javelish.. The typical Javanese language: 'lho', 'lha', 'tho', 'kok',
'ki',
etc
- Lho, I already bought that book !
- Kok, buying again ?
- I told you many times 'tho' !
- Lha, I didn't know tho yo... how ki !?
- Don't be like that, no....!?

Jakartenglish.. Jakarte English is marked by
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Dari mana dulu ? - Umum
Penjaga kolam menghampiri seorang anak lelaki dan
menegurnya, "Kamu tidak boleh kencing di kolam renang
ini, mengerti?!"
Dengan wajah tak mengerti si anak berkata, "Tapi semua
orang kan pada kencing di kolam??"
Penjaga mencoba bersabar, "Iya, memang. Tapi
kencingnya tidak dari atas papan lonca...[View]

Bis - Umum
Suatu malam seorang lelaki yang sedang mabuk naik bis
dan duduk di sebelah perempuan berumur. Si nenek
memandangnya dari atas ke bawah, kemudian berkata,
"Tahu nggak, kamu akan ke neraka!"
Si lelaki melompat kaget dan berteriak,
"Stop...kirriii. Salah naik bis!!!."
...[View]

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